Commonwealth Avenue: Unter den Linden

The war was organised, Sirocco and Zealandia are one, and Sebastiano von Linden is history. Welcome to the FCSZ.

Most of you will by now know that Sirocco and Zealandia were briefly at war this afternoon after discussions about Sebastiano von Linden. By now most of you will know that Zealandia has ceased to exist as an independent nation. Alston is now the capital of the Federal Commonwealth of Sirocco and Zealandia (FCSZ).

One of my first actions as Premier of the united nation was to fire Sebastiano von Linden. Yes, von Linden has finished. No longer will he be creeping around. He’s gone.

I understand from Quentin that Bradley’s theory is that Zealandia permitted me to annex it in order for me to fire von Linden. I can tell you now that he is correct. The war was a storyline.

Don’t get me wrong, the war was an actual war: the declaration was genuine. However the story of it is not. On the article it states the reasoning behind the war was that after heated discussion I tried to calm Anthony down, a move which failed. The real story is that there was heated discussion, yes, and I did try to calm Anthony down. He admitted to me that after Soergel’s ultimatum and Alvisi’s support of it, he was considering abdication. Heaven knows I didn’t want him to abdicate, after all he is one of Sirocco’s top friends, if not our closest buddy. This enraged me, and it’s no secret that I haven’t forgiven Soergel and Bralesford for their outright attack on me earlier this month.

And so we formulated a plan. Anthony had decided enough was enough and von Linden had to go. The problem was that under Zealandian Basic Law, von Linden couldn’t be fired by the monarch unless he committed a major crime (murder, rape, treason etc.) or if he lost the support of the government. Since he hadn’t committed a major crime and he enjoyed 75-80% approval, it was obvious he was here to stay.

Under Siroccan law, the Premier can do pretty much whatever he likes, so long as it doesn’t go against the constitution. Anthony and I needed to find a way that the Siroccan constitution could be used in Zealandia. I suggested a simple switch of control from him to me, letting me put in our constitution and thus get rid of von Linden. He needed to talk to his ministers about it, before I joked that we should invade. He decided it was a good idea and thus a war was born. Before we declared it at 2:30pm yesterday, we let Aldrich and Fishy know what was going on. They agreed to act like they knew nothing, when in fact they were in on it too. We also got Jacopo in on the act, and we did it to make sure we didn’t get ripped apart. Aldy, Anthony, Fishy, Jacopo and myself all knew what was going on.

And so, for six and a half hours the two allies were at war, something which obviously attracted attention and the inevitable co-declarations (Corbonia and Senya better retract their declarations, ’cause Zealandia is us now). I got flamed, yes, but finally Anthony surrendered at 9:05pm and I assumed control.

Now the fun starts. As outlined in the Treaty of Alston, Zealandia becomes a Siroccan province. That means our constitution is also theirs. As Premier, I had complete control, and I used my control of Zealandia to order von Linden out. It’s no good him hiding behind Anthony, he’s had enough and so have we. Let me make this ultra-clear:

SEBASTIANO VON LINDEN IS GONE. FINISHED. KAPUT. VAMOOSE. AUF WIEDERSEHEN.

As Premier, I have made sure he is fired and buried. But how? I charged him with a breach of the Micronational Alias Act 2011, which allows all Siroccan citizens the right to a micronational alias. If any citizen reveals the macro name of any micronationalist (Siroccan or otherwise) without their express permission, then the penalties are tough. In a nutshell, revealing macro names without permission is a serious offence. Seb has violated the Act several times (retroactively) by constantly telling the world our friend Philip Fish’s real name. I know it, but I’m not gonna publish it on YouTube with that bloody cupboard in the background or all over the forums and whatnot.

So what now? I am the only micronational leader in New Zealand, it seems. Zealandia is under our boot now. Well, not for long. Anthony is our temporary Chancellor (head of the Board of Ministers) and thus…we have Socialism in Sirocco. I never thought I’d see it, but there you go. I extend a hand of greetings from the Siroccan Federal Party to what we think will be the Socialist Party (or Soviet Party) of Sirocco. But together we are writing up a new Zealandian constitution that will have safeguards against this sort of nonsense in the future. If need be we can have a clause that states that if the monarch deems situations in Zealandia to be beyond their control then the Siroccan Premier can step in, but I don’t know.

I can tell you all now that the FCSZ will not last. I don’t want to control Zealandia forever, I like having Anthony as our neighbour, it gives a bit of life to Sirocco. As soon as my business is done, we will sign the constitution, Zealandia and Sirocco will return to their normal lives and the brief period of the FCSZ will be over and you can all start bitching at Anthony and I again. But remember, after all your whining and everything, Anthony and I did this not just for Zealandia, but for the community too. We both knew it was destroying everyone, and we wanted to put it to an end. Strange how one of the new micronationalists ended up toppling one of the older ones…

I publish this post exactly twelve hours after the war ended, 9:05pm. This war was not one made out of hate, it was one that cemented the close relationship between Sirocco and Zealandia. Has it ever happened in world history where the fate of a war has been decided by two close friends before it’s even begun?

Well it has now.

Daniel Anderson