Commonwealth Avenue: The Merits of Democracy in Modern Zealandia

Because it’s totes unbiased.

The December 1, 2011 Zealandian election was probably the dirtiest and most ferocious the nation has seen in a while. On one hand we had the Socialist Unity Party of Zealandia (SUPZ) slamming the National Peoples Party (NPP) for being liars and out for themselves, on the other we had the NPP pointing the finger at the SUPZ and blasting them for blatant corruption (let me get there first), and on a third hand we had the new Zealandian National Party (ZNP) calling for Zealandia to rise up against everyone not from Zealandia.

There is a reason why the NPP made a song and dance this time. Because we can’t trust how Zealandia works.

Over the past week or so there has been a lot of intensity, especially towards Anthony. It all started on Sunday, November 27. Frankly, the NPP had had enough of the constant barrage of ads from the SUPZ outlining all the thing the NPP did when it was last in power (sometime in the 1980s, going by their ads).

Let me point this out though: when the NPP was last in power, I was only very new to the concept of micronationalism. I don’t think I even had Zealandian citizenship. So why, WHY was the SUPZ linking me to all the stuff that happened in Zealandia before I’d even entered the community?

Clutching at straws I suppose.

Realising that as long as we went under the banner of the NPP we were going to be to blame for all of Zealandia’s ills (conveniently forgetting that it has been a socialist government that has overseen crisis after crisis after crisis), we decided to split into a new party. But what to call it? Reform. Why Reform? Because we wanted reforms. We wanted to change Zealandia, we wanted a fresh government with fresh ideas. We wanted to tear down the anti-opposition barriers and make Zealandia a fairer place.

But do you think a simple task like renaming a political party could be achieved as simple as that? In Sirocco, we just cut to the chase. No forms. No red tape. No bureaucratic nonsense. If the Train Party wanted to rename to the Tram Party, we document the change and let them get on with it. In, out, done.

But oh no, not in Zealandia! No, you have to go through complicated forms that, when examined closer, don’t even contain anything of relevance – a form that identified itself as a renaming form and yet it contained nothing that suggested it was a renaming form. It didn’t even contain a field to put in the new party’s name!

As well as this glaring error, another one was pointed out with due alarm. It was noted by Riley Calaby that the form asked if the respondent had read and understood Zealandian electoral regulations. The problem was that they weren’t due to be released until the next day.

Then he tried to argue that ideology and position are different things. Funny, I don’t recall meeting any Marxist Conservatives anywhere.

After an extremely long and drawn-out fight, we finally got a decent form, but the typical stubborn attitude and pig-headedness that Anthony is famous for was certainly out in full force that night.

I also wish to point out the issue over the Zealandian Times. On November 23, Anthony himself said this:

Although owned by HMZ Government, the Zealandian Times will remain impartial on all matters, political and governmental in nature.

The following day he has these choice words to say (among a host of other things):

“Twerps in the NPP”; “[the NPP are] capitalist morons”; “[the NPP are] conservative, muck-raking naysayers.”

Wow, that’s impartial alright. So totes neutral. It’s rather weird, actually. The Sirocco Times is by law required to stay as neutral as possible, even though it’s linked to the Siroccan Federal Party. The only time it leaps off that line into deep blue territory is in a Commonwealth Avenue post.

Now I’m not saying Anthony’s not entitled to his opinion. Freedom of speech is a core tenet of democracy, and I support it. However there was nothing to remotely suggest that this was an opinion piece from him – no, this looked to be a post straight from TZT. However it really annoys me that he is allowed to go back on his word and post that sort of thing with no repercussions whatsoever. It’s even worse that I’m not allowed to share my opinion – whenever I speak up I get silenced with an uproar by any and every socialist present.

But a well-known fact is that nothing is stable in Zealandia. Elections are held every couple of months. And with those elections is the inevitable result: an SUPZ victory. And yet the NPP bravely soldiers on. The votes counted this election for the NPP were still promising, although this brings me to another point.

It is the general opinion of not just the Reform Party, but other people outside it, that the voting system is completely corrupt in Zealandia. After each election, vote-counting is done by Anthony, an SUPZ member. He has freely admitted to doctoring the results of elections in the past, and we wouldn’t be surprised if it’s still going on. Why is it only now, after a hard campaign by NPP/Reform, that he has agreed to bring a “neutral party” (probably an SUPZ or ZNP member) in to count votes? Until now there has been nothing to stop Anthony from counting the votes, and then giving a few blue votes to the red mob.

And it’s not just the Reform Party that thinks so. James Puchowski, Marka Mejakhansk and Alexander Reinhardt have all questioned how this works.

Anthony, as King, should not be in a political party. He should be an independent arbitrator, thats one of the biggest problems.
-Marka Mejakhansk

But isn’t there a conflict of interests? Anthony puts you on the lists, yet he’s an SUPZ official, and I presume also the one that counts the votes. The SUPZ won the elections, again. Are we the only people here, together with Nemkhavia, who actually have an independent electoral commission?
-Alexander Reinhardt

Oh, how I so agree with Mark and Jacopo. Zealandian democracy is purely a rigged joke controlled by one man with conflicting interests. Reform Zealandia now!

…There is more to my disgust of the Zealandian political system, and I thought I already made it clear; obviously not.  And this nonsense will continue, scandal after scandal, election after election, and I can assure you that no number of marked ballot papers, no number of foreign statesmen that ever help you run Zealandia and no number of broken, twisted statements will ever be sufficient, as you continue to let ridiculous things happen in your country. You know the faults, but I am definitely not one to come over to Zealandia and pull the blanket off your makeshift tent that you’ve hidden in in the room that is micronational reality.  I’ve stated my reasons. I shall remain bitter; I’ve no other reason not to be.
-James Puchowski

How is this fair? Really, how on earth can this be fair to have an SUPZ member doing election vote counting?

Also, I’d like to put in a word about Daniel Morris. He supported the NPP changing into Reform. He was all for it. He was helping us out at the same time.

Then he left.

He just upped and left, and he moved to the ZNP. That was a real blow to us. He said it was because we don’t support the monarchy. We do support the monarchy, but we do not support a corrupt government. Morris went down in my estimates for that, and one of my most trusted friends in the MicroWiki community stabbed me in the back. I will not be quick to forget that.

Then, of course, there are the allegations that Reform is a mere puppet party of the Siroccan Federal Party. Yes, I do lead both parties. Yes, Reform is a member of the Federal Network of parties. Yes, there are similarities. But they are not the same. Both parties have different policies. Reform demands changes immediately. Federal wants things to stay the same. Reform wants freer elections, Federal doesn’t mind. Reform urges for greater integration with the micronational community, Federal is happy to maintain links but also maintain independence.

I’m not giving up. I will unseat the SUPZ no matter how hard I must work to do it. Freedom and real democracy will come to Zealandia, just like the good old days. The DDR-esque government Zealandia suffers under right now cannot and will not last. I will see to that personally.

Daniel Anderson