Bowie of Wyvern dies aged 16

Wyvern-Stadt, Wyvern, Dec 18 – Wyvernian military hero Bowie has today died at the age of sixteen.

Owned by the Wyvernian Royal Family since late 1998, Bowie became a national hero of Wyvern through several courageous deeds in his time with them.

One of his most notable acts was against the French in 2003, where after attacking the sea in a process described by Wyvern’s Princess H. as “charging, biting the sea ferociously, then retreating and repeating the process” on a beach at the French town of Arromanches he proceeded to defecate on the boulevard, which was later described as “a nasty case of diarrhoea”.

Bowie was awarded the rank of General-Admiral in 2010 in recogition of his war against the French at what has become known as the “Battle of Arromanches”.

Bowie’s history has however been rich with several notable points aside from his excursion against France. There has been some confusion over the date of his birth with official documentation placing his birth sometime in June 1996. Veterinarians and an identification tattoo, however, put his birth at 29 April 1996. Bowie was notably one of the last dogs born in the Netherlands to not be microchipped.

He was unfortunately mistreated by his original owners and eventually developed a fear of crying and screaming children, and after a period in a dog pound became unstable as a result of the barking of other dogs in the facility. This came to an end after his adoption by the Royal Family in December 1998.

He retained a somewhat aggressive nature over the years, biting the entire Royal Family, friends of the Family, and was known to fight dogs larger than himself. One such incident saw him hospitalised after taking on two much larger fighting-breed dogs.

Through the years Bowie had accompanied the Royal Family on most foreign visits, the only exception being a visit to Scotland in 2006.

Bowie began to show signs of old age in 2008 when he began to slow down from a running pace, and by 2009 was suffering the onset of blindness and deafness. Despite fears of an imminent death he managed to pull through and showed no willingness to give up on life.

His condition worsened through 2010 after he contracted a disease in one of his toes. Fears of his ability to cope with surgical anaesthetic soon proved unfounded and the operation went ahead successfully.

Further health deteriorations plagued Bowie through 2011 and 2012, culminating in a severe fall down a flight of stairs a few days ago. Despite attempts to save him, it became clear that his time had come.

Bowie was euthanised just after 11am Wyvern time (11pm NZDT).

Tributes and messages of grief have poured in from around the globe for the beloved dog.

Siroccan leader Daniel Anderson called Bowie an “inspiration” and named him a “hero of micronationalism”.

“Bowie of Wyvern was more than a dog. He was the embodiment of getting up and throttling life by the neck. Never one to stand down for his beliefs, he always charged forth with a gusto rarely seen in animal or man alike, and it is this attitude that we must all be inspired by. The news of his passing is heartbreaking, and I know there is no Siroccan who does not feel for the Wyvernian people at this tragic time. Bowie was a hero of micronationalism, and my thoughts and prayers go out to all of Wvyern today. May God bless his soul and may he look over Wyvern as it gets through this terrible period in its history.”

All flags in Sirocco have been lowered to half-mast.

Renasian leader Jacob Tierney sent “Renasia[‘s] […] heartfelt condolences and fondest wishes at this time of national tragedy, while the Oasis Islands sent its “condolences and wishes the best to the Royal Family of Wyvern in this very difficult time”.

Similar messages of sadness and support have been received from other micronationalists and micronations.

Bowie had been awarded the Siroccan Order of the Tram on his sixteenth birthday this year, however this was upgraded to an Order of the Federation, Sirocco’s second-highest honour, yesterday after news of Bowie’s situation came to hand. The award sits alongside his Order of the Wyvern and his Order of the Snake Knights. He also served as Wyvern’s Schout-bij-Nacht in honour of his position as protector of the Royal Family.

In total, Bowie clocked up sixteen years, seven months and twenty days, or six thousand and seventy-eight days.